This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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