i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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