i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you had me at cake vodka
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
did i just pee glitter
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
