Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
