Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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