Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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