Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
