I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
