My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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