The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
