So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
