I wannas sexs uuuuu
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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