"it" just moved
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My penis needs a shock collar
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
