I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
