No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Plan B is the new Plan A
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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