Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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