i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
