be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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