we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
