She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
