i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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