hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize