i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
