he wants to bone in the snuggie
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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