lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
