Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
