i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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