How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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