i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
