The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
