insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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