i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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