How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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