I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
