Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
