he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
