Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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