She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
