I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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