I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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