my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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