someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize