Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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