no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
