Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
