Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
