what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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