is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
