my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize