I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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