There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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