her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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