Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
