They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
