you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
