I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
