can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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