no. you can't hotbox the world.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
