I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
