i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
