have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
