I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
