Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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