; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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