some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
