Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
