So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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