Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
whose parrot is this?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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