yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
