The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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