that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
