She said her name was "party"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
